


Because You're My Home

by wooziwinks



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, COVID-19, Denial of Feelings, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Constipation, Eventual Happy Ending, Fade to Black, Friends With Benefits, Getting Back Together, Getting Together, I don't want to spoil Jihoon's job yet lol, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Pining, Unrequited Love, but just local he's not super famous, its mostly just jihoon being really soft and Yearning, lots of yearning and pining, performer! hoshi, quarantine fic, soonhoon is endgame do not worry my friend, yup this is happening
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:07:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23481460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wooziwinks/pseuds/wooziwinks
Summary: Jihoon and Soonyoung reconnect shortly before the quarantine starts and decide to shelter in place together. It's been a long time since Jihoon has forced himself to reexamine his past with Soonyoung and basically, he's going through it. Those damn leather pants the dancer keeps wearing aren't helping, either. ~~~ This quarantine fic has it all: Zoom class, reconnecting with old flames, stressful grocery runs, getting drunk in the apartment, and more! Step inside for some soft Jihoon yearning and soonhoon domestic bliss ~~~
Relationships: Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Comments: 9
Kudos: 53





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> here you are my friends, the soonhoon quarantine fic that no one wanted but we all needed :) 
> 
> pls be warned that this chapter has lots of alcohol mention and some unsafe behaviors (don't take drinks from strangers!!) also for the purposes of this fic Jihoon can drink lol

Jihoon sighed in relief as he finally broke free from the crowd and settled into a stool at the bar, waving to the bartender when he made eye contact with him then nodding once when the man held up a bottle of soju. The man cracked it for him and poured him a shot, leaving the glass and the bottle for Jihoon before heading back down to the other end to tend to the other customers crowding the bar. 

Jihoon knocked back the shot and poured himself another, relieved at how cool and refreshing it felt going down. He’d only just arrived but he was already sweaty, dragging a hand through his hair to push it back and wondering why he’d even bothered to try and style it. 

The club was on the smaller side and fully packed, the crowd on the dance floor bouncing in time to the heavy bass pumping from speakers lining the ceiling, their hands in the air silhouetted by the deep blue and purple spotlights drifting aimlessly around the room. 

It was otherwise dark and Jihoon couldn’t help but think of a jungle as he peered around the shadowy, throbbing, humid space, barely able to even make out any faces. It might have been a surprise to some, but this was actually one of his favorite kinds of clubs - not that he went out much, especially nowadays. But when he did, he preferred a place like this: somewhere he could melt into the crowd and be alone. 

Jihoon pulled out his phone to check the time, then downed another shot of his drink. It was almost time, now. 

_ SY: hey im gonna be in town tonight at a club called Milano. you should come see the show!!! _

That’s all the text had said - that’s all it ever said, nowadays. The last five texts in the chat were all the same except for the club names, all invitations sent into the abyss that were always left unanswered. Jihoon didn’t know what had compelled him to answer one tonight. Maybe the world really  _ was _ ending. 

The DJ was booming an announcement over the loudspeakers and Jihoon turned around in his barstool to see the spotlights all turn to cast a deep red wave over the small stage at the front. The bass dropped lower, thumping rhythmically as the crowd cheered in anticipation. 

“Give it up for Hoshi!”

The DJ yelled, the crowd screamed, and there was Soonyoung, emerging on stage with a relaxed strut and a cool grin on his face. Jihoon craned his neck slightly to see better as the man paced the stage and waved his arms at the crowd, encouraging their cheers. Then he planted himself in the center, grin curling across his lips. 

“What time is it??”

He pressed a hand to his ear as the crowd screamed in response, 

“10:10!”

“What time is it!”

“10:10! 10:10!”

They chanted in response, screaming it, and Soonyoung stretched his arms out at his sides and let his eyes slip closed, drowning in the sound, letting it envelop him. Then his eyes flashed open and he brought a hand up to steady the microphone clamped to his ear. 

“Alright, Milano, let’s dance.”

He spun on his heel and just like that the track thumping behind him switched up, and he was dancing. His outfit was simple, but perfectly curated: a loose fitting black button down that was only half done up and slipping sensually off his shoulders as he moved, tucked into a thick leather waistband that clung to his hips and that was followed by impossibly tight leather pants that silhouetted his legs and… everything else. 

Jihoon watched him as he dipped and spread his legs, swung his hips, and turned in time to the music. He was singing, too, his raspy voice pumping over the speakers along with the heavy beat - a voice Jihoon hadn’t heard in a long time, but could never forget. 

He couldn’t look away from his dance either: there were at least a hundred people between Jihoon and Soonyoung but he felt like they were the only ones in the room, he didn’t even notice that there were backup dancers behind him gyrating in sync, he couldn’t drag his eyes away from the man for even a second. No, he definitely hadn’t forgotten Soonyoung. Sometimes he wished he could. 

Jihoon could tell the song was coming to a close and momentarily broke from his trance, realizing with red-tipped ears that he was literally leaned forward to the edge of his seat before spinning around to face the bar again and down the rest of his soju. 

He let himself drift into a haze after that, elbows leaned back against the bar as he watched Soonyoung bump, grind, and belt his way through his set, the bass thumping rhythmically in his chest and heat of the pumped crowd blanketing him as they bopped right along with the man on stage. He was buzzing, and a part of him knew it wasn’t just from the booze. 

But all at once it was over, Soonyoung was waving to the cheering crowd and wiping sweat from his neck with a towel, the beat behind him fading. Jihoon frowned down at his phone to check the time, feeling like mere minutes had passed, but was amazed to see that it had been over an hour already. The songs and dances had flowed one into the next and suddenly the night was gone already. Soonyoung had always had that kind of effect. 

Jihoon turned back around to face the bar, downing the last little sip of soju in his glass and beginning to wonder if he should order more. Suddenly there was a buzz in the crowd behind him and he felt heat radiating from a body that appeared by his elbow. 

“Hey, over here!”

Jihoon spun around and was face to face with Soonyoung, still dripping with sweat and glowing from the performance, waving at the bartender down at the far end of the counter before locking eyes with the man on the barstool and dropping his jaw. 

“Jihoon - you came…”

He breathed, a mixture of shock and awe, and Jihoon hastily looked away from those smoky eyes staring at him. 

“Yeah well, I was invited, wasn’t I?”

“Well yeah, but…”

But Soonyoung let the train of thought drop to instead break into a big grin, his cool stage persona already beginning to melt away. Suddenly he threw his arms around his friend. 

“Thanks, Jihoonie!”

“Ew!”

The smaller man protested, shrugging off Soonyoung’s arms and making a face at the sweaty man, who seemed totally undeterred as he waved to the bartender again, holding up two fingers.

“I can’t believe you really came! So what’d you think, huh? Did I totally rock it?”

Jihoon rubbed the back of his neck, glancing back up at the stage as he recounted the performance in his head and answered sincerely,

“You did, it was great.”

His eyes flicked back up to the man, narrowing as he drawled teasingly, 

_ “Hoshi…” _

They had taken Japanese together back in college, but Jihoon dropped the class just one week in after having it confirmed he was hopeless at learning languages. Hoshi - the word for star - was one of the only words he’d ever been taught. As it turned out, it was the only one he needed to know. 

Soonyoung was rubbing his neck now, a little sheepish. 

“Hey, since when do you actually call me Hoshi?”

“Never, I’m just making fun of you.”

Jihoon shrugged, but Soonyoung just laughed at that. 

“Whatever! You’re just jealous I’m a star,  _ Woozi.” _

The smaller man punched at his friend, and they both laughed at that. Jihoon would be more amazed, if it hadn’t been so unsurprising. It was like no time had grown between them - like nothing had changed. 

The bartender appeared and Soonyoung took two shot glasses from him, handing one to Jihoon. 

“To our friendship!”

He beamed, holding it up. Jihoon held his up too. 

“To our health.”

He retorted, and they both downed it down in one go. Soonyoung was laughing when he emerged from the bottom of his drink. 

“Yeah, these are crazy times, aren’t they? This is probably the last place we should be, right now.”

Jihoon shrugged, shivering a little as the alcohol buzzed through his veins. 

“I dunno, it seems appropriate somehow. Soonyoung?”

He hopped to his feet from his seat, the space closed between them so they were chest to chest as he blinked up at his friend. Soonyoung was peering down at him as if he was about to tell him the secret to life, the universe and everything, and it only stoked the determination - or was it alcohol - flaring up in the pit of Jihoon’s stomach. 

“Let’s dance.”

He didn’t wait for an answer before turning to dive into the crowd, but he didn’t miss the arm that snaked around his hip from behind, Soonyoung sticking close. They worked their way towards the front, near the DJ, and wiggled into a spot sandwiched among the people before falling into rhythm with them. Some people nearby pointed and cheered when they noticed Soonyoung, offering hi-fives and back claps while the dancer just laughed jovially. 

The music was upbeat and they bounced together, hips swaying and shoulders leaning in sync, both sort of grinning to themselves. It felt good to be good at something, and they both knew they were good at dancing, oozing confidence as they found their rhythm among the crowd. 

Jihoon was eyeing Soonyoung, gaze dragging over tight leather pants and exposed collarbones, then met smoky eyes only to find them looking at him, too. They both laughed when they locked eyes, having too much fun to feel any shame. 

The crowd at Jihoon’s back was growing roudier, screaming happy birthday for one of their friends as they jumped chaotically with the music, and Soonyoung pulled his friend closer by the hips so they were pressed together. 

The bass dropped to a deeper, more pulsing beat, the room cast in purple again as the lights passed over the crowd, and they were grinding now, Soonyoung holding Jihoon against him by the hips. 

A group near Soonyoung yelled and waved to grab his attention, then shoved a shot into his hand before they all raised their own with a cheer. He laughed, raised it up, and downed it with them before accepting more hi-fives and cheers. After a moment Soonyoung blinked and pointed at Jihoon, cocking his head to the side and looking over the group with bright eyes. 

And it worked, of course it worked, he’d always been a master of holding conversations with just his eyes, Jihoon thought as two more shots appeared, Soonyoung taking them from his new buddies with a grin and a “Woohoo!”, gently handing one to his counterpart before downing the other. Jihoon tossed it back and abandoned the little plastic cup on the sticky dancefloor before bringing his arms up to curl around Soonyoung’s neck. 

The songs twisted one into another as the pair grinded together, panting in time to the roll of their hips, sweaty bodies pressed together while the crowd pulsed all around them. They’d been watching each other’s faces at first but ended up too close for that as the songs continued to surge and the people continued to bounce all around them. 

Jihoon felt the bass thumping in his chest, throbbing in his ears, pumping fire into his veins as he danced against Soonyoung. His forehead was against the man’s shoulder and from this angle he could stare down at their hips working together, grinding leather against his own tight jeans, building friction that was spreading like a wildfire in his thighs.

Jihoon lifted his gaze to instead blink up at the ceiling, trying to gulp some air but receiving only that humid jungle heat. Finally he broke away from it, detaching from Soonyoung to head back into the crowd, but feeling that hand around his hip again as he pushed through sweaty bodies before diving into the safety of the bar bathroom. 

Every inch of it was covered in graffiti and the flickering light buzzing on the ceiling barely illuminated any of it, not that there was much to see beyond litter and suspicious puddles covering the floor and a single stall door that was half hanging off its hinge. 

But Jihoon didn’t notice any of that, heading straight for the sink and flicking on the cold water, leaning down to splash some on his burning face. 

“You okay?”

A hand rubbed gently up and down his back and when Jihoon sat up he could see Soonyoung’s reflection frowning at him in the mirror. 

“Yeah.”

Jihoon breathed, dragging a hand through his damp hair and nodding once, reassuring both himself and his friend. 

“It was just hot.”

“Yeah…”

Soonyoung laughed, a little breathless himself. 

“That was so much fun, though.”

He grabbed a paper towel and wiped at the back of his neck, Jihoon turning to lean against the sink and watch him. Soonyoung lifted his gaze to peer at him. 

“Hoonie… What made you come out here, tonight?”

The shorter man shrugged. 

“Well, I think the world might be ending or something.”

The coronavirus news had been getting grimmer and grimmer each day, and he wasn’t normally someone that easily fell for fear mongering, either. Soonyoung laughed at that, drawing closer again to hook his thumb in one of the man’s belt loops. 

“So it takes the world ending for you to come see me?”

They were looking at each other now, Jihoon dropping his eyes down to parted pink lips before lifting them back up to meet those smoky eyes. 

“Something like that.”

He breathed, knowing full well that it really didn’t matter what his response was. They crashed together, bodies pressed together all over again as they kissed, eyes slipping closed and sighs passing between them that sounded almost relieved. Jihoon tangled his hands in sweaty silver locks, holding Soonyoung’s head firmly against his own as he kissed him hungrily. 

Soonyoung once again held his counterpart close by the hips, grinding against him as they kissed before deciding it just wasn’t enough, instead lifting the man to sit on the edge of the sink so he could press closer against him, between his legs. Jihoon hugged his legs around Soonyoung’s middle and moaned against his lips, slipping his tongue through the parted entrance. Soonyoung was moaning too at the hands threaded in his hair, pressing his own into the small of the other man’s back. 

Jihoon was on fire again, every inch of his skin that Soonyoung touched was burning, a wildfire spreading through his veins and eating him alive. He gasped when the other man lifted him easily in his arms to practically slam him against the other wall, thighs locked around Soonyoung to hold himself up and back arching against him. 

“Come home with me.”

He managed to gasp out between hurried kisses, words slurred slightly against wet lips. 

“Come home with me, Soonyoung.”

He was begging, but he didn’t need to. Soonyoung was grinning against him and they both had their fill for another moment, almost too hungry to stop now, before finally breaking apart just enough to catch their breath. Jihoon carefully touched down one foot, then the other, but kept his arms around the taller man’s neck. His whole body was trembling slightly, the heat still buzzing beneath his skin, and he rested his head against Soonyoung’s shoulder again rather than watch the bathroom spin around him. 

Soonyoung swayed a little in his arms and giggled, and Jihoon started giggling, too. Then they stumbled their way out of the bathroom without discussing it any further, making a quick stop at the bar to pay off their tabs before heading out into the night. 


	2. Chapter 2

They didn’t hook up, in the end. They knew better than that, they always had - they were too drunk for it, passing out in a heap together after fooling around hot and heavy for a while. 

Jihoon cleared his throat and smacked his lips as he roused from his sleep that had been more like death, trying to take stock of the damage from the night before. They didn’t hook up, but he’d definitely given Soonyoung a blowjob. 

“Ugh…”

He groaned, rolling over in the tangled sheets. He didn’t regret it, of course. He only regretted how much he had enjoyed doing it. 

Jihoon reached out a hand to feel around the mattress without opening his eyes, deflating when he confirmed that he was alone. Of course. 

He tried to shake off that sinking feeling as he finally sat up, dragging fingers through his hair a few times to try and keep it from sticking up. He wasn’t surprised, or even really expecting anything different at this point. 

Jihoon was surprised, however, when he finally pulled on a hoodie and came stumbling out of his bedroom to find Soonyoung sitting in his kitchen, munching on a bowl of cereal. 

“Hey,”

Soonyoung called around a mouthful of food, pointing with his free hand towards the TV he’d been watching when Jihoon got up. 

“Check it out.”

Jihoon shuffled to a stop beside the man at the table, watching the newscaster on the screen as she announced:

“Breaking News: The president has just announced a mandatory shelter-in-place order in response to the growing threat of the Covid-19 pandemic. Citizens are required to remain in their homes under strict quarantine, effective immediately and spanning the course of two weeks, with a potential for extension in order to stop the continued spread of coronavirus.”

Jihoon slowly placed his hands on his hips and frowned down at his slippered feet. 

“Damn.”

He could feel Soonyoung watching him curiously as he turned to head back to his room. He emerged a short while later in black sweats and sneakers, placing a baseball cap over his messy hair as he pushed a bag onto his shoulder. 

“Where are you going?”

Soonyoung cocked his head to the side as he looked the other man over.

“The grocery store.”

Jihoon responded as he shuffled back over with a sigh. 

“I don’t have enough food in the house to last a quarantine…”

He picked up the cereal box Soonyoung had left out on the counter and shot him a look, shaking it to show that it was empty and proving his point. His friend flashed a sheepish smile before jumping to his feet. 

“I’ll come with you!”

He placed his bowl in the sink before slinking back into the bedroom, but he poked his head out only a minute later. 

“Uh, can I like, borrow some clothes…?”

Jihoon couldn’t help but huff out a laugh at that as he came back over to the bedroom, remembering the ridiculous outfit Soonyoung had worn the night before. 

“What, you don’t want to go to the store as Hoshi?”

Soonyoung nudged him as he passed him in the doorway before Jihoon started picking through his closet with a frown. 

“Honestly, I don’t know if I have pants that will fit you…”

He admitted through pursed lips as he pushed aside a few hangers and pulled out an oversized, blue hoodie, tossing it to his friend. Then he began sifting through his dresser, finally dragging out an old pair of acid wash jeans. They were casual and loose fitting on Jihoon but on Soonyoung they ended up being tight, form fitting highwaters, and the shorter man watched his friend crouch down to cuff the ends once and thought it served him right for being tall, anyways. 

“Tada! Thanks, Jihoonie!”

Soonyoung straightened and posed with a grin, but his friend only rolled his eyes and turned back to head out. 

Still though, Jihoon thought, stealing peeks at Soonyoung out of the corner of his eye as they busied themself getting ready to go, it was kind of nice. With the makeup washed away and being back in regular jeans and sweats, Jihoon could recognize the Soonyoung he’d first met, way back in the day. The one that was all round cheeks and bright smiles. 

~~~~~~~~~

They didn’t speak at all when they were in the grocery store, it being too tense and bustling with folks all trying to prepare for the quarantine. They’d worn masks, too, but they pulled them off now as they walked slowly back towards the apartment together, arms laden with heavy bags of groceries.    
  
The fact of the matter was that if they were going to infect each other they already had, somewhere between the grinding and the blowjobs. So they could speak freely now, with their masks pulled down. 

Not that there was much to say. They’d been eyeing each other all morning, peeking when they thought the other wasn’t looking, offering sheepish looks when they did lock eyes. They both were wearing the same expressions, thinking the same thing:  _ I didn’t think we were going to spend this long together.  _ After all, Soonyoung was usually long gone by the time Jihoon woke up in the morning after they crossed paths. But he was still here, now. 

The shorter man glanced over at his counterpart, who was shifting the bags in his arms to try and find a more comfortable position. 

“So…”

“It’s kinda eerie, right?”

Soonyoung spoke instead, and when Jihoon cocked his head to the side in question, he nodded at the road ahead of them. 

“There’s no one around, barely even any cars. I mean, we’re in the middle of the city, that’s pretty weird…”

Jihoon peered around them, then slowly nodded. 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right… I’ve never seen it like this.”

“These really are crazy times, I guess.”

Soonyoung sighed, and then they both fell quiet. They walked another block like that, in silence. It was hard to know what to say, when history was being made all around them. It was uncomfortable in a way, jarring, but it was getting all twisted up in Jihoon’s head already. Was everything different now because it was the end of the world, or because he was with Soonyoung?

“Your parents? Are they still with your sister in-?”

“Yeah, they’re all still in the family house together, I’m sure they’ll be fine. What about your parents?”

“They’ve got their place outside the city, I actually just visited last weekend. They’re both working from home so I know they’ll be okay.”

They fell into another sobering silence as they finally reached Jihoon’s apartment complex and pushed through into the lobby to wait for the elevator. Nothing like this had ever happened before, and it was hard to know what to even think about at this point. Their minds were on their families, their friends, their colleagues, wondering who was going to get sick, anticipating that things might get worse before they get better. 

It had been a long time since Jihoon had thought about Soonyoung’s parents house. It was a quant place with a porch in the back that looked out at their old lemon tree. Soonyoung’s mother always poured him ice water with those fresh lemons, and he would sit together with his friend on the porch in the sun. Yeah, it had been a long time since he’d thought about that warmth.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Jihoon slouched back in his seat at the table with a satisfied sigh, setting down his empty takeout container among the several others littered around him. 

By the time they’d gotten all the groceries put away and had changed and washed their hands, the sun had begun to set and it was only then that Jihoon realized he had slept well past noon that day. And that he was absolutely starving. 

  
They decided to order takeout and Soonyoung paid, which Jihoon did not protest to. He was feeling a little more human again now that he had eaten, and the calories gave him the energy to finally bring it up. 

“So, I can’t help but notice you’re still here, Soonyoung.”

He eyed the man across the table who was stuffing his face, and who blinked back at him with bulging cheeks almost like he’d been caught before carefully gulping it all down.

“Well, uh…”

Soonyoung set down his chopsticks to rub at the back of his neck, offering his friend a sheepish smile. 

“I dunno. About this quarantine thing… I was kinda thinking maybe we could just wait it out together.”

He shrugged and continued, 

“I took a call from my manager before you got up this morning, all my shows have been cancelled for the next month at least. So I got nowhere to be.”

“You mean you’ve got nowhere else to go?”

Jihoon clarified, trying to keep his voice steady. He needed Soonyoung to say it, his stomach was doing somersaults but he  _ knew _ better by now, he wasn’t going to fall for this again. 

“Yeah.”

Soonyoung breathed out a laugh, and Jihoon let out the breath he’d been holding. Exactly. There was a big difference between wanting to stick around and sticking around because there was no point in going anywhere else. Still, Soonyoung could’ve just as easily gone to stay with his family… Jihoon shoved that thought aside, and stood to begin cleaning up the table. 

Soonyoung leaned back in his chair, one of his heels hooked on the edge of the seat and his fingers laced behind the back of his head, watching Jihoon putter around the kitchen. Finally his friend ran out of things to busy himself with and came to a stop by the fridge, his back to Soonyoung, who piped up, 

“So, what do you think? Wanna be quarantine buddies?”

“You’re really just gonna invite yourself over?”

Jihoon turned back to his friend, and Soonyoung saw an odd expression flash across his face for just a moment before he returned to his usual grumpy frown. 

“I should’ve bought more groceries, in that case...”

It was a little whiny, the giveaway that he was going to let him stay, and Soonyoung broke into a grin before whining himself, 

“Nooo, we couldn’t have carried more, anyway! My arms are  _ still _ tired!”

He flailed them around for emphasis, and his friend laughed at that. 

“Weakling.”

Then he sighed, returning to the issue at hand. 

“You’ll have to stay out of my way, I won’t hesitate to throw you out if you get on my nerves, Soonyoung.”

“I’ll be good!”

He assured with a laugh, holding up his hand like he was swearing on the bible. Jihoon just shook his head and sighed again as he turned away, already able to tell that this was a really bad idea. It had already been a mistake to go out to the club last night, and now Soonyoung was going to stay in his apartment? Jihoon could only hope the world would end a little quicker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know these are some pretty crazy times and I don't want to make light of how serious our world is being affected by the spread of this virus. Please stay inside, wash regularly, and look out for your loved ones. We'll get through this together. <3 
> 
> also pls leave your likes and comments if you're enjoying it so far! let me know your thoughts/predictions, I always find those so inspiring :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> phew this chapter turned out long! Day 2 just was long and I didn't feel like splitting them up. ps. we won't be literally going day by day of their quarantine, I'm sure I'll skip a few haha

**Day One**

Jihoon shook out his hands to loosen them up a little before returning them to the white plastic keys of his keyboard, slowly plucking out the first chord and humming his first note to himself to make sure he had it before taking a deep breath and starting the song from the top. 

He’d been banging this out for what seemed like hours - or maybe was actually hours - but he finally had written through to the first chorus, which seemed like a good place to stop. He just wanted to sing it through from start to finish one last time, without needing to keep stopping to mark notes on the page or adjust a chord. 

It sounded a little funny to him because he had his headphones plugged into the keyboard, so the piano’s melody was loud in his ears while his own singing was a bit muffled, but he wasn’t concerned much with how his voice sounded. 

Jihoon smiled to himself as he wrapped up the chorus, genuinely satisfied with his work, letting his hands come to rest on the final chord before bringing them up to pull his headphones off his ears.

“That’s really beautiful.”

The smile was wiped from his face as he jumped in surprise and clutched at his chest before leaping at Soonyoung with a growl, dragging him down from his perch on the arm of the couch onto the seat cushion where he could better wrestle him. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

Soonyoung just laughed as he fought off his friend, catching his breath when Jihoon finally backed off to simply glare at him. 

“Really, it’s so beautiful though! I only heard your singing -”

Soonyoung sat up to point at the keyboard with curious eyes, 

“Can you play it for me, once?”

Jihoon set his jaw, debating whether he wanted to, before finally pulling his headphones out of the socket and setting himself in front of the white keys once more. Soonyoung had been pretty good all day, letting him work in peace, so maybe he’d earned a quick performance, he reasoned. 

Jihoon played through the song again, singing along with it, too focused on his fingers flying over the keys to be self-conscious. Anyways, he’d done this many times for Soonyoung. 

He noticed that his friend hummed along with the chorus and Jihoon smiled a little to himself as he came to the end. Soonyoung had always been good at picking up music, even though he wasn’t classically trained. Jihoon had tried to teach him, once, but Soonyoung was about as good at picking up composition as Jihoon was at learning Japanese. Still, he had his own way of making music, and it suited him, Jihoon thought. 

“Wow.” 

Soonyoung breathed when it was over, turning to face Jihoon from his seat beside him on the couch to look at him with sparkling eyes. 

“You really just wrote this? That’s amazing.”

Jihoon shrugged and tugged lightly at his earlobe, not sure what to say to that. 

“Yeah, well.”

He finally offered vaguely, and Soonyoung broke into a grin. 

“Jihoonie, you’re so cool.”

He leaned forward to scoop up the papers on the piano stand, looking over Jihoon’s diligent notes with curiosity. 

“So, is this your job? You write music?”

“Nah, this is just my personal work.”

Jihoon snatched back his papers and stood to put them away in their folder on the shelf across the room, returning his keyboard to it’s spot in the corner as well. He could feel Soonyoung’s eyes watching him from the couch. 

“So what do you do for work, anyways? All I’ve seen you do is check your email and sigh a lot.”

Jihoon chuckled at that, since his friend wasn’t too far off the mark in a way. He returned to the couch but didn’t sit down, instead facing Soonyoung with a somewhat timid expression. 

“Uh, well…”

He dragged a hand through his hair, looking anywhere but at his friend. 

“I’m actually a professor, I teach music composition at SSU.”

He pointed vaguely out the window in the direction of the university a few blocks down, looking a little sheepish. Soonyoung was floored. 

“A  _ professor _ , are you  _ kidding _ me, Jihoonie?”

Jihoon cursed his ears for burning. 

“Yeah, well…”

He grumbled, the phrase beginning to turn into what he said when he didn’t know what to say. 

Soonyoung laughed, actually clutching his stomach at how amused he was. 

“Professor Jihoonie, wow, I can’t believe it… I never would’ve imagined you as a teacher, you’re such an asshole all the time!”

Jihoon frowned at that, his lips pouting. 

“My kids like me…”

“Your ‘kids’?  _ Oh my god _ …”

Soonyoung flopped back in his seat on the couch, fanning his face as he giggled away. Jihoon rolled his eyes, not surprised by this reaction but still annoyed by it. 

“Cut it out, Soonyoung, it’s not that shocking…”

“It’s not, it’s not, it's just really charming.”

Soonyoung giggled out before finally composing himself with a deep breath. He grinned up at his friend, eyes sparkling again. 

“I can see how you’d be a good teacher. You’re so cool, Jihoonie.”

Jihoon kicked at his friend, ears still burning slightly from the attention, refusing to take the compliment. He finally grumbled, 

“Quit making fun of me.”

“Or what?”

Jihoon blinked in surprise at the response but Soonyoung was sitting forward in his seat again to peer up at him, expression mock innocent though his eyes were still sparkling - or maybe it was more like a glint. 

“Or what, Professor?”

He cocked his head to the side and offered a little smile as he reiterated it, eyes dropping down Jihoon’s body to something more eye level with him before lifting his gaze back up to lock eyes again. 

Jihoon was frozen in place, his heart already beginning to race as he took it all in at once - the expression, the angle, the question, the sparkle in his eye. It was all perfectly curated to undue him. He swallowed thickly and glanced away. 

“Or nothing, Soonyoung.”

“But Jihoonieeeee!”

Soonyoung whined, practically melting off the couch to slip onto his knees in front of the man, pouting up at him. 

“Don’t be such an ass, I wanna pay you back for the other night!”

Jihoon peeked hesitantly down at the grinning man in front of him. Soonyoung was literally on his knees begging for it and Jihoon couldn’t deny that it was doing things to him, as much as he was cursing himself for it. This was different than drunk hookups, he was trying to warn himself, but it was hard to focus with Soonyoung looking at him like that. 

“What’s in it for you?”

He retorted, but Soonyoung was smirking because that sounded like a green light to him, and he reached up to untie the string of Jihoon’s sweatpants. 

“I dunno, what  _ is _ in for me?”

Soonyoung mused, pulling down the sweatpants to Jihoon’s thighs and leaning forward to press a few hot kisses against the growing bulge in the man’s boxers before glancing up at him with narrow eyes. Jihoon pressed his lips tightly together, mind racing, and Soonyoung pouted, the expression practically obscene being done against a growing hard-on. 

“Haven’t I been good today, Professor?”

Jihoon gulped but didn’t answer, not even as he watched Soonyoung pull down his boxers and take him in his mouth. He didn’t know if Soonyoung was good or bad, or what he was getting out of any of this. 

He didn’t have the answer even after they were finished and his head was finally clear, staring up at the ceiling of his bedroom they’d made their way to at some point, before turning over on his side away from the snoring man to try and go to sleep. 

In the end it had just been a blowjob, so maybe Soonyoung really  _ was _ just paying him back for the other night, Jihoon thought. But still somehow in the pit of his stomach, things didn’t feel square between the two of them, and Jihoon slept uncomfortably that night, even with the heat of his friend radiating against his back. 

~~~~~~~~

**Day Two**

When Jihoon blinked his eyes open the next morning he was alone, and something flared up in the pit of his stomach. Anger. It was at Soonyoung, but it was at himself, too. 

Why did he keep putting himself in this position? Why did he have to care so much whether he was there or not? Soonyoung didn’t owe him anything, and anyways, he just was an early riser, it wasn’t like it was anything personal. God forbid it be personal. 

But since he was alone Jihoon let himself stew in it, grumbling to himself as he rolled out of bed to get in the shower. For a moment it almost felt like a regular Monday morning as he blow dried his hair, put on real clothes - a turtleneck and plaid jacket - and brewed some coffee, though it was an added perk that today he got to remain in his slippers. 

Jihoon munched on toast and sipped his coffee as he set up his laptop at the kitchen table, checking his email, which finally reminded him to check his phone, too. 

_ SY: went to get some more groceries  _

Soonyoung had texted him, with a bunch of heart and mask emojis on the end. 

_ Well good, _ Jihoon thought. At least he’d be out of the way while he held class, which he was already a little nervous about doing on camera let alone doing it with Soonyoung in the room. 

Jihoon grabbed his work bag and pulled out his notes, getting himself all ready for class before opening the video chatting app and watching nervously as cameras began to ping on, revealing his students faces. 

It was a little awkward at first for everyone as they adjusted to communicating electronically, but Jihoon grew more relaxed on camera as he began the lesson, deciding that it didn’t feel too different from standing at the front of a classroom. He made it through most of the lecture without any issues, until...

Jihoon didn’t realize until Soonyoung walked in the front door that it was within sight of the camera, and he paused mid-sentence to watch in his own screen feedback as the man stepped through the door and set down two stuffed bags of groceries. 

“Hey, do you still like cocoa puffs?”

Soonyoung called as he entered, before looking up and freezing at the sight of Jihoon and about twenty other people staring back at him. 

_ But that wasn’t the most mortifying part, _ Jihoon could picture himself telling a therapist someday. 

No, the most mortifying part was that Soonyoung was  _ wearing the leather pants _ . And just in case his students somehow hadn’t noticed, they squeaked with every movement Soonyoung made - a little detail Jihoon hadn’t noticed that night in the club, but was extremely apparent to him now. 

“Just a moment.”

Jihoon thanked whatever entities out there that his voice sounded steady as he nodded once to the class before clicking off his camera, spinning around in his chair to hiss, 

_ “I’m in the middle of class you idiot!” _

_ “Well how was I supposed to know that!” _

Soonyoung hissed back before cracking up, dodging a pencil that Jihoon threw at him before prancing away to go hide in the bedroom. 

“Sorry professor~!”

He whisper-called over his shoulder before closing the door behind him, successfully blocking a second pencil chucked his way. 

Jihoon huffed a sigh, composing himself before turning back to his laptop to click the camera back on. 

“Please excuse my idiot roommate.”

He stated simply, but when some of his students snickered he couldn’t help but wonder how much his microphone had picked up, his ears beginning to burn. 

“Anyways, you’re college students, so I’m sure you can relate.”

He finally deadpanned before quickly moving on with the lesson, receiving a few groans as he began outlining the assignment that would be due next class. 

~~~~~~~~

A while later Soonyoung peeked out from behind the bedroom door, whispering loudly, 

“Is the coast clear?”

Jihoon dropped the pencil he’d been writing with to rub his temples, his laptop shut and class finished for the day, though it felt like his  _ real  _ full-time job was dealing with Soonyoung. 

“Why don’t you just stay in there forever.”

He finally retorted, digging the heels of his hands into his eyes as he listened to the horrific sound of those leather pants creaking closer as Soonyoung emerged from the bedroom and crossed back over to the kitchen. 

“Hey look, I’m sorry, but how could I have known you’d be in the middle of class?”

He giggled lightly, carrying the grocery bags he’d abandoned near the front door into the kitchen to begin unpacking. 

“Why are you wearing those…”

Jihoon practically groaned, peeking one eye open to shoot a menacing glare at the offending garments. 

“I don’t have anything else to wear!”

Soonyoung exclaimed, then pouting at his friend over his shoulder from his perch at the counter. 

The pants you gave me are too short, it’s cold out there you know...”

Jihoon glared back at him, but Soonyoung just laughed, placing the last few groceries in the cupboard and tucking the bags away. 

“Come on, you’re really that mad about me walking by on camera? Or are you just mad cause you’re mad.”

His tone was a little different, suddenly, but Jihoon couldn’t see the man’s expression with Soonyoung’s back to him. He cursed him anyways, because as usual, he was infuriatingly spot on. How could he possibly have known he’d woken up angry that morning? 

The man turned on his heel to peer at Jihoon, holding up a box of cereal and cocking his head to the side innocently. 

“So,  _ do  _ you like cocoa puffs?”

“You’re an ass, Soonyoung.”

“Jihoonieeeee!”

Soonyoung whined, pouting at his friend as he set down the box again. He recovered instantly though, lunging forward to grab Jihoon’s arm, who instantly shook it off again with a grunt. 

“I’ve got a great idea, Jihoonie.”

His eyes were sparkling. 

“Come run an errand with me, I was about to head out again. You’re all cute and dressed, there’s no point sitting at home and pouting.”

“There’s a government order to sit at home…”

Jihoon grumbled, though he resisted adding,  _ and I can pout wherever I want.  _

Soonyoung had already made up his mind, though, already beginning to pull on his shoes by the door, planning out loud, 

“You don’t drive, right? We’ll have to take the train across town.”

Jihoon stood, a little uncertain, knowing by now that it was better to swim with the current rather than try and resist a will like Soonyoung’s. It looked like he was going out. 

“Can I borrow a jacket?”

The taller man was already poking through the front hall closet, pulling out a denim jacket from one of the hangers and holding it up to Jihoon for approval, who grunted an affirmation. 

He shrugged off his own plaid jacket and abandoned it on the back of a table chair, making his way over to pull out a warmer peacoat from the closet. He regrettably switched out his slippers for loafers as well, and then the pair both donned their masks again before heading out into the cold. 

~~~~~~~

The train ride had been eerie - almost no one was in the stations that were usually packed with bustling people, and there was only one other woman in the car with them as they rode five stops down the line. 

They didn’t try to talk with their masks on, and Jihoon just followed Soonyoung aimlessly as the man led him off the train and two blocks down the road. Why did it matter where he was going? He had nowhere else to be and nothing else to do, anyways. 

They were in a quiet neighborhood full of multi-family houses with little porches on the front, and suddenly Soonyoung hopped up the steps of one, pulling a mess of keys out of his pocket. 

“This is your apartment?”

Jihoon asked, though what he wanted to ask was - You have an apartment? And it’s  _ this close _ to mine?

“Mhm!”

Soonyoung finally located the key and unlocked the door, gesturing for Jihoon to step inside first so he could close up behind him, which the shorter man did warily. They entered into a stairwell, with a hallway lined with doors extending off at the side. 

Soonyoung jogged up the stairs so Jihoon followed, and they entered into a second hallway lined with doors, two flights up. The taller man pulled out his keys again to open the first door on the right. 

Jihoon could see the entire place when he stepped inside: it was small, just one room with a queen size bed in the middle of it, a few cheap pieces of Ikea furniture like shelves and a wardrobe, and a kitchenette in the corner. The bed was made up with black sheets and littered with a handful of tiger plushies - the only real giveaway that this was indeed Soonyoung’s apartment. It was otherwise fairly barren and not to the man’s taste at all. 

“It’s freezing.”

Was all Jihoon said, shoving his hands deep in his pockets as he slowly strolled through the room, peering around. 

“Yeah, I don’t even pay the heat for this place since I’m never here.”

Soonyoung shrugged, making his way over to the wardrobe to begin picking through it. 

“This won’t take long, I just wanted to pick up some clothes…”

Jihoon nodded though he knew the man couldn’t see it, and continued poking his way around the room curiously. 

The shelves were cluttered with random books, magazines, and DVDs, though Jihoon didn’t see a TV anywhere, nor anywhere to sit down with something to read. 

He could picture his friend functioning in this place: it was a place to rest his head and change his clothes, between being on the road and couch surfing from one house party to the next. But it was devoid of Soonyoung’s personality, besides maybe the tiger plushies piled on the bed. 

“You can see why I didn’t feel like spending my quarantine here.”

Soonyoung called to him as he continued to busy himself picking through his things. Jihoon nodded again. 

“Tiger in a cage…”

“Oh my god, are you gonna write a song about me??”

Soonyoung suddenly burst with excitement, Jihoon turning back just to shoot him an unamused look. 

It had been a while since he’d heard that joke but it used to be Soonyoung’s favorite line whenever Jihoon accidentally said something a little too poetic. 

“Do you ever shut up?”

He retorted simply before continuing his orbit around the room, finally coming to stop in front of an old record player on a stand in the corner, a nondescript, black vinyl still sitting in place on it. Jihoon eyed it curiously, finding it a little out of place in the otherwise bland room, and decided to click it on, dropping the needle onto the record as it began to spin. 

Soonyoung looked up from what he was doing and broke into a wide grin as the first few notes began to drift from the record. 

“Oh yeah, wow, I finally get to show this to you!”

He made his way over, explaining, 

“There’s this guy I befriended who works at a music shop downtown and he can press recor-”

“It’s my song.”

Jihoon breathed, completely disregarding whatever Soonyoung was saying as he stared down at the spinning record, those tiny, black ridges echoing his own voice back up at him. 

“My song, technically, right?”

Soonyoung corrected with a wide, proud smile, not about to let it be erased from history that Jihoon had written a song for him. But then he froze, dropping the grin from his face instantly. 

“Shit - you don’t mind that I did this, do you?”

“I don’t mind.”

Jihoon pressed his lips into a thin line, holding very still himself as he watched the record spin, afraid to lift his gaze to meet Soonyoung’s. Finally he had to though, when the man closed the space between them to lay a hand on his shoulder. 

“That’s good, cause I have a second copy for you, actually.”

Jihoon looked up in surprise just in time to see Soonyoung point across the room at a flat, clear plastic square sitting on one of the shelves, containing another vinyl. He blinked at it, then up at Soonyoung. 

“When were you going to give this to me?”

He asked quietly, eyebrows pulled together, but Soonyoung just shrugged. 

“If we ever saw each other again, I guess.”

If.

Jihoon glanced away quickly, before Soonyoung could spot the emotion he knew must have flashed behind his eyes. 

“You really piss me off, Soonyoung…”

He tried to put some anger behind his words, but he sounded more tired than anything else. Still, the taller man jumped at that, whining, 

“Huh? Why!”

He laughed nervously when Jihoon shot a glare back up at him. 

“Because this is one of the nicest gifts anyone has ever given me and you almost didn’t even give it to me.”

Soonyoung laughed heartily at that, more amused than offended by the accusation, and he took a few steps back to sit down on the edge of the bed. 

“Well it wasn’t really up to me, was it?”

He finally breathed and Jihoon’s eyes widened a bit at the sudden sincerity, the way Soonyoung switched from giggling to looking at him with a completely unreadable expression, his tone nearly accusatory if it wasn’t so soft. 

Jihoon had no response. What could he possibly say? This entire little trip was turning everything upside down for him and he was feeling dizzy, his own voice still drifting around the room from the spinning record as those eyes watched him - tigers eyes, waiting to pounce. 

He slowly drifted closer to Soonyoung as if being pulled by a string connected to that gaze, and when he was finally within arm’s reach the man reached out to snake his arms around Jihoon’s waist, pulling him down on the bed with him. 

Hands pushed Jihoon’s coat away from his shoulders and he compliantly pulled his arms through the sleeves as he lay back against the pillows, blinking up at the ceiling as he felt Soonyoung’s weight shift over him, then his lips pressed against his own. 

Jihoon heard the record fizzle to a stop somewhere at his right and then the room was only filled with the smack of their lips and soft sighs as Soonyoung kissed him hastily, pulling his own jacket off and abandoning it on the mattress. 

Jihoon wasn’t sure what to do with his hands. He brought his wrists up to rest on the pillow beside his head, but his left hand brushed against something foreign and when the man glanced over without breaking the kiss, he was face to face with a tiger. 

He blinked his gaze back up to stare at the ceiling, and he could swear it was spinning just like that damn record. His breath hitched in his throat when he felt icy fingers slip under his sweater, pulling him closer by the hips and splaying out over his abs. Soonyoung’s lips left his own to lean down lower, pressing against his exposed hip bone, and Jihoon swallowed thickly. 

“Soonyoung I-”

He choked, squeezing his eyes shut and finally forcing his voice out through the sensory overload, 

“I - want to stop.”

The lips instantly disappeared from against his skin and the mattress shifted, Jihoon blinking his eyes open to see Soonyoung lean back on his knees, expression concerned. 

“Are you okay?”

Jihoon took the opening to sit up and swing his legs over the edge of the bed, almost like he was going to run away, but he froze there instead, his back half turned to Soonyoung. There was nowhere he could go, he didn’t even know where he was, that was part of the problem. 

“Yeah I’m fine I just -”

He dropped his head into his hands to rub his face, ears burning, feeling totally embarrassed. Jihoon couldn’t believe he was acting like this, how could he be an adult with a career and an apartment and still be acting like this? 

“Wanted to stop.”

He sighed out finally, dropping his hands into his lap, feeling exhausted. 

“I’m sorry, Soonyoung.”

It wasn’t just about the third failed hookup, there was so much more to it than that. 

But yeah, Soonyoung probably went into this quarantine thinking he’d be getting it in every night and this probably was getting a little ridiculous for him. Hell,  _ Jihoon _ thought they’d be getting it in every night, but his dick and his head - his heart? - seemed to be having some serious communications issues. 

“Hey, you don’t have to be sorry, it’s no big deal!”

Soonyoung responded, tone light, and it just made Jihoon feel worse. He balled his hands into fists in his lap, tugging on the ends of his sleeves, because  _ of course _ Soonyoung was going to be an angel about it, of course…

“Here, it’s fine, why don’t you just - can I touch you?”

Soonyoung interrupted himself to freeze with his hand outstretched towards Jihoon, who nodded tentatively. Jihoon had asked too much of his friend already, he felt like he couldn’t be an ass about skinship right now. 

Soonyoung used a gentle hand to Jihoon’s shoulder to guide him back against the pillows, flashing a smile down at him as he did. 

“You can just relax here for a bit while I pack my stuff up. Take a nap!”

He crawled off the bed and pulled the throw that was folded at the end of it up over his friend, mumbling with a pout, 

“Sorry it’s so damn cold here…”

Then he crossed the room and returned to rummaging through his wardrobe - just like that. 

Jihoon stared at Soonyoung’s back for several moments. His gaze drifted over to the record player still lit up and on but silent, then over to the other side of him where the tiger plushies were piled, then to the ceiling, white, nondescript, and no longer spinning. He took a deep breath, then another, and finally felt recovered from whatever wave of anxiety had crashed over him, before. 

He pushed all those thoughts aside, not about to try and pick through them right now and get upset all over again, instead scrolling mindlessly on his phone for a few minutes, then letting it drop down onto the pillow beside him as he tucked a little deeper beneath the throw blanket and dozed. 

When Soonyoung finally shook him awake he had his jacket on and a stuffed duffle bag on his shoulder, Jihoon eyeing it as he emerged from the blanket to pull his own shoes and coat on. 

Was Soonyoung moving in with him right now? It kind of looked like that was what was happening, Jihoon thought as he watched his friend click off his record player, then cross to the shelf to slip out Jihoon’s record and tuck it under his arm. 

Well, maybe he was still sleeping. This was starting to feel more and more like a dream anyways, Jihoon thought as he followed Soonyoung out into the hall, who clicked off the light and locked the door to his tiger cage. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay I've been listening to What Kind of Future on repeat so we're kinda [hits the whip] going through it right now lol but anyways this story will have its ups and downs but its a happy ending for sure, i mean these dorks obviously love each other 
> 
> but poor professor Jihoonie.... waaah.... what kind of future.... ok pls rate and review and then go listen to WKOF (◡﹏◡✿)
> 
> PS consent!!! be like soonhoon, always speak up if you're uncomfortable and listen carefully to your partner, don't proceed without two enthusiastic 'yes's!!! (also I promise they'll actually get it in someday lol)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> small warning that this chapter has a very brief sickness scare, pls be safe and give it a skip if that would be upsetting to you! just stop reading after the phone conversation. Here's what you'll miss: Jihoon is still really soft and yearning for Soonyoung :'(

**Day 6**

The tiger was circling its cage. 

Jihoon had been perched at the table on his laptop and trying to pretend that he hadn’t noticed, but Soonyoung had a way of giving off a cloud of his energy whether he meant to or not, and the energy in the apartment this afternoon was restless. 

When Jihoon had come out of his bedroom this morning he’d found Soonyoung cooking a mighty breakfast, and dirtying nearly every dish in the apartment in the process. He’d been in high spirits, snapping pictures of his work before digging in, and they’d eaten together for quite a while to get through all the food he’d prepared. 

  
Then there were literal hours of cleaning: first just tidying up after the breakfast mess, then deciding to clean the rest of the kitchen, then organizing all the cupboards and scrubbing in those extra hard-to-reach-places too. 

At this point, though, Soonyoung was out of things to clean, and was resorting to poking around the apartment and occasionally flopping over a piece of furniture with a heavy sigh. It wasn’t until the man started plucking curiously at the strings of a guitar Jihoon had sitting on a stand in the corner of the living room that he finally closed his laptop to give him his full attention. 

“What’s your problem, Soonyoung?”

“Don’t you feel like you’re rotting away in here???”

Soonyoung whined back instantly, like he’d been waiting to be asked all day. He draped himself miserably over the arm of the couch to cast his friend a pathetic look, who offered an unmoved one in return. 

“If you’re so restless why don’t you work out?”

Jihoon nodded to the pullup bar he’d installed in his bedroom doorway earlier for his own workout, but Soonyoung crinkled his nose in distaste at it. 

“It’s not the same… It’s boring…”

The answer didn’t surprise Jihoon, but he still rolled his eyes just to let his friend know he thought he was ridiculous. 

Soonyoung had never been one that particularly liked working out, though he still had diligently joined Jihoon on his trips to the gym throughout college (or at least allowed himself to be dragged along). They were opposites in that way: Jihoon found the mindlessness of it soothing, but it was suffocating to Soonyoung to do something so monotonous for very long. 

“I miss dancing.”

The light haired man finally sighed, melting off the couch to spread out on the rug and pout up at the ceiling. 

“This is probably the longest I’ve ever gone without it.”

Jihoon pursed his lips at that. Yeah, it probably was. He couldn’t think of a time in the years he’d known Soonyoung that the man had let  _ anything _ stop him from dancing, even ridiculous class schedules and dislocated limbs. 

The whining was a little pathetic, but Jihoon suddenly did pity his friend a bit. These were hard times, even if most of the time they felt like utterly bland, regular times, since it mostly involved sitting around inside doing nothing. Jihoon couldn’t imagine what it would be like for him if he didn’t have his music to rely on keeping him sane. 

It was for this reason that he stood up from the table and crossed over to his friend, leaning over to peer down at his pouting expression with a hand on his hip. 

“Hey, I think I might know somewhere you can dance.”

Soonyoung instantly perked up, eyes wide with surprise, scurrying to his feet to follow after Jihoon as he crossed over to pull his shoes on and step out the door. He led him wordlessly to the end of the hall and out into a stairwell, taking them all the way down to the bottom floor and pushing through a heavy, slightly rusted door to the outside. 

It was a brick alleyway behind the building, double wide to accommodate the delivery trucks that sometimes backed in from the street, and there was a fenced off area that housed the dumpsters for the building. It was nothing special but it was fairly clean, the building staff having regularly pressure-washed the bricks and picked up stray litter, and at this time of day the sun peeked in through the surrounding buildings and lit up the open area. 

Jihoon used a rock to prop open the door so they wouldn’t be locked out while Soonyoung walked out into the space, inspecting it for a moment before giving a twirl with his arms outstretched, turning to flash his friend a smile. 

“This is perfect! You’ve been holding out on me, Jihoonie!”

“Well I didn’t know until you said something…”

He pointed out, but he could tell from the way Soonyoung turned away again to begin stretching out that as usual, the lesson on communication was lost on him. Jihoon rolled his eyes and made his way over to where center stage seemed to be developing, leaning back against the brick wall and sliding down to sit. When Soonyoung turned back around he blinked at his friend in surprise. 

“You’ll stay?”

Jihoon shrugged. 

“Want me to play the music for you?”

But it wasn’t so much an offer as he held out his hand for Soonyoung’s phone, falling into the usual role he’d played for the man. It felt a little like deja vu, actually, and Jihoon could tell from the strange look Soonyoung gave him as he handed over his phone that he was experiencing it, too. He dropped his gaze to the music rather than dwelling on it, turning up the volume and throwing on a track from his friend’s dance playlist that was still exactly where he’d left it. 

Soonyoung dancing for himself was different than dancing for a crowd. The process was slower when it wasn’t on-demand, peeling back layers of the man in waves. Jihoon watched him as he danced, watched the way he went from being a little awkward in front of him, to working hard to impress, his limbs snapping sharply in time to the music, and then that fading away too as he started dancing for himself, the focus in his eyes like tunnels that might show right down to his core if one were to peer into them. 

A lot of the songs and dances were unfamiliar to Jihoon, and he watched them unfold before him with intrigue, able to see the ways Soonyoung had developed his skill in the time they’d been apart. He wasn’t just an energetic youth anymore: he was poised, mature, he could direct his energy better now, snapping his limbs with purpose instead of just to snap. 

Even the ones Jihoon had seen before, Soonyoung was better at, now. It was enthralling at first - he’d never imagined his friend could be  _ even better  _ at dancing - but it started to churn something in the pit of Jihoon’s stomach as the initial surprise faded, and he found himself skipping over more of the familiar tracks. It was unrealistic to think that the past could just remain there untouched like a model ship in a glass bottle or something. But that didn’t make it hurt any less to imagine that he’d been left behind, just like those immature dances.

“Wait, go back!”

Soonyoung broke from his form to pant out a laugh, waving his arms as he made his way over to his friend. Jihoon frowned and went back to the song he’d just skipped, frowning harder as he hastily paused the intro. 

“Come on, are you kidding? Why do you even have this…”

“Oh my god, you have to do it with me! Come on, it’s the Hoshi-Woozi combo!”

Soonyoung giggled, reaching out to try and drag his friend - who had switched to standing against the brick wall when his legs got tired some time ago - onto the dancefloor, but Jihoon shrugged him off. 

“No way!”

He grunted, but Soonyoung wasn’t giving up, tugging on his arm. 

“Please Jihoonie? Just one? You know I hate dancing alone!”

Jihoon rolled his eyes, shaking off his friend again, who sighed, planting his hands on his hips as he turned away. 

“Aw man, I was hoping you’d still remember it…”

“Of course I remember it.”

Jihoon retorted stubbornly, taking the bait. He set down the phone and hit play, making his way over to stand by Soonyoung, who only had a moment to flash his triumphant grin before they started to dance together. 

Jihoon did remember it. He was a little surprised at himself, only needing to pause once or twice while his mind caught up with his muscle memory, but they  _ had  _ practiced it just about a million times, back in the day, so maybe this was to be expected. 

It was probably seared in his memory forever, this stupid dance and this corny song he’d made with Soonyoung just for fun, though it had also snagged them the second place prize at the university talent show. They’d split the prize money on a huge meal out that same night, and blown it all in one sitting - that was how little it had meant to them. The real prize was the song and dance itself: the Hoshi-Woozi combo. 

When it was over they were out of breath, and they both cracked up laughing when they finally met eyes. 

“That song’s gonna be stuck in my head forever, now.”

Jihoon complained, just because he felt like he needed to counter the total heart-eyes Soonyoung was giving him with a dose of reality. The man just giggled some more, and Jihoon dragged his gaze away from the expression to make his way back over and collect his phone, pausing the music. That was enough for one day. 

  
  


~~~~~~~~~~

  
  


Jihoon’s phone started buzzing in his pocket as he unlocked the apartment door a few minutes later, holding it open for Soonyoung as he pulled it out and frowned at the screen. When he saw who it was he glanced in his friend’s direction, who wasn’t paying any attention and already disappeared into the bedroom, so Jihoon accepted the video call as he pushed the door closed and toed off his shoes. 

“Hi, Jeonghan.”

“Hi, Jihoonie~”

His friend’s voice cooed from the phone, Jeonghan’s glowing smile lighting up on the screen and forcing a small smile out of the younger man in response. 

“I was calling to check up on you since you never answered my text this morning~”

He hummed, his tone light, but Jihoon knew well enough to know it was a warning, and he was being reprimanded for bad behavior. He sunk down at the kitchen table, using his free hand to tug sheepishly at his earlobe. 

“Sorry, I thought I responded. Anyways, I’m doing fine. How are you? Is Seungcheol with you?”

He peered around in the background of Jeonghan’s video feed for hints although it was pretty much entirely filled with his friend’s face. He recognized some posters on the wall and could tell he was in his apartment’s living room. 

Jeonghan shook his head with a dramatic sigh and a pout. 

“Noo, he has that baby roommate now, remember? Chan, the one still in uni. So he decided to stick it out with him so he wouldn’t be alone, isn’t he a saint?”

He laid a hand over his heart but Jihoon grinned slightly at the glint in his friend’s eye, able to tell he was grumpy he wasn’t spending the quarantine with his boyfriend. Too much of a saint for his own good, it seemed like.

“Anyways, at least I’ve got my roommate to keep me company, right Joshua?”

Jeonghan turned the phone around to show his roommate standing at the stove in the kitchen, apparently cooking something, though he blinked over when he heard his name and offered a sweet smile to the camera.

“Hi, Jihoon. Stay safe!”

“You too.”

Jihoon couldn’t help but chuckle in return, before the camera was turned back to Jeonghan’s face. 

“Yeah, we’ve just been hanging out together, it’s not so bad actually. Isn’t it weird this is a pandemic? I’ve just been laying around and watching dramas…”

Jeonghan pursed his lips, and Jihoon couldn’t help but smile at that. Actually, his friend was totally right, as he tended to be. They were nearly a week into the quarantine and as the news got more and more dire outside, the days inside got more and more boring and monotonous. The juxtaposition was a strange experience, to say the least. 

“I’m gonna take a shower~”

Soonyoung suddenly called from the bedroom, and Jihoon looked up just in time to see the door get pushed closed. Jeonghan’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head. 

“Is there someone there with you right now?”

He sputtered, bringing the camera closer to his face as if to mimic leaning forward to the edge of his seat. Jihoon shifted uncomfortably in his chair, instantly knowing this was not going to go well. 

“Uh… well, yeah.”

He finally admitted, knowing there was no point in trying to lie to Jeonghan.

“ _ Who??  _ Aren’t you social distancing?”

Jeonghan demanded, and Jihoon laughed nervously. 

“Well - yeah… we’re… social distancing together. I guess.”

Jeonghan was looking shocked again, and Jihoon quickly added, 

“We ran into each other before the quarantine started and, well, he didn’t have anywhere else to go, so I thought, why not…”

“Why do I have a feeling I know who this person is.”

Jeonghan’s little eyes on his phone screen were digging into him, and Jihoon had to look away from those dark pixels, feeling deeply seen. Dread was pooling in the pit of his stomach, and it was an embarrassing response. But the fact of the matter was that Jeonghan  _ did _ know this person, and he was already looking pretty unhappy about it. 

“It’s Soonyoung.”

Jeonghan gasped, then gave him a reproachful look. 

_ “Jihoon…” _

He scolded, and it made the younger man squirm in his seat like he was five again, and his mom had just discovered him stealing from the cookie jar. 

“I really can’t believe you right now! What came over you to do this?”

He continued and Jihoon frowned. 

“It was the end of the world…”

The line fell flat when delivered outside a seedy nightclub bathroom, completely sober in the buzzing lights of his kitchen and under the judging gaze of his friend. Jeonghan gave him a lame look, then lifted his gaze off camera. 

“Are you hearing this, Joshua? Can you believe who Jihoon is spending the quarantine with?”

“Who?”

Came a voice off screen. 

“Soonyoung!”

Jeonghan exclaimed. He apparently saw confusion in his roommate’s expression, because he added to jog his memory, 

“His big bad ex!”

“He’s not my ex…”

Jihoon frowned, then dropped his gaze down to the table, mumbling, 

“We never dated…”

“Oh my god.”

Jeonghan rolled his eyes, clearly having heard it all before, but he frowned at his friend, too. 

“Jihoonie, I don’t know if this is a good idea. Do I really have to say it?  _ Why _ did you let him back in again?”

“He needed somewhere to go…”

Jihoon tried again lamely, barely able to deliver the stupid excuse, dropping his head to rub the heel of his free hand into his eyes. It felt like a million degrees in there, and his throat was itching. He could practically feel the pity coming off of his friend in waves without even needing to look at the phone screen, and it just made his guts twist themselves tighter into knots. 

“Look, do we have to get into it…?”

He’d been lying to himself this entire time, pushing aside his feelings and the memories and whatever else and pretending that this wasn’t affecting him at all, that he was so much more mature now and really had his shit together, and was capable of just spending some time with Soonyoung as a friend while they waited out the pandemic together. 

He could lie to himself but he couldn’t lie to Jeonghan, not to the friend that had found him sobbing on his bathroom floor one night some time ago and had held him in his arms as he cried. Jeonghan had seen straight through to his heart that night and he could still see it laid bare for him, now. 

“Jihoonie…”

“It’s just for the quarantine. He’s my friend, Jeonghan.”

“I know.”

His friend sighed, but when Jihoon peeked up at his phone screen, Jeonghan offered him a soft smile. 

“If you’ve made up your mind, it’s not like I can stop you. I just want you to be careful with your heart, Jihoonie. I hate to see you hurt, you know that?”

Jihoon nodded. He did know that. 

“Okay, then I’ll stop lecturing. Geez, Jihoonie…”

The older man  _ tsk _ -ed with a shake of his head, but Jihoon offered a sweet smile that instantly melted his heart. 

“But if you ever need me to come over there, you just say the word, okay?"

He warned, literally wagging his finger at the camera, and the younger man laughed at that. He couldn’t tell if Jeonghan was offering to come beat Soonyoung up or what, but it was a sight he’d love to see. 

“Okay, I know.”

He nodded again, clearing his throat and adding, 

“Don’t worry about me.”

Jeonghan just shook his head at that. 

“Yeah right, as if that’s not my part time job at this point.”

“Does it pay well?”

“You…”

Jeonghan warned but they both ended up laughing, it feeling good to be doing their usual routine again amidst all the confusion and uncertainty of the past week. 

Jihoon was glad Jeonghan had called. It wasn’t the kind of thing that occurred to him to do, but maybe it should be. 

It was too bad he had to keep his distance, though. A part of him was aware that at this point Jeonghan probably was the only person who could save Jihoon from the siren song of Soonyoung, but he wasn’t going to be able to do it just with some FaceTime lecturing. Too bad or a lucky break, depending on what outcome you’re rooting for, Jihoon thought. He wasn’t so sure himself. 

~~~~~~~~

Later that evening, Soonyoung turned to Jihoon with a frown on his face. 

“Ji, I think you’re getting sick.”

Jihoon paused in the middle of blowing his nose to blink back at his friend from behind his tissue. 

“Huh?” 

He tossed the tissue on the pile forming on the coffee table in front of him, then frowned when he realized there was a pile forming. 

  
They were sitting around watching tv, Soonyoung sprawled out on the rug and Jihoon curled up on the couch, and as the time passed the latter had been slowly dissolving into a state of some sort of unwell: he had a dry, burning cough that burned his raspy throat, and he’d been sneezing and blowing his nose like crazy. It wasn’t until Soonyoung said something that Jihoon realized this wasn’t just a handful of unrelated sneezes and coughs, as much as he wanted to argue against that fact. 

“It just came on so  _ fast _ …”

He finally admitted, sniffling pitifully and rubbing at his eyes. Soonyoung nodded, crawling to his knees to peer up at his friend better. 

“I know, were you feeling bad earlier today?”

“Not really…”

Jihoon shook his head, but stopped as he remembered the burning feeling he’d gotten when on the phone with Jeonghan, his throat getting tight and itchy. He’d thought at the time that it was a nervous response but perhaps there was something more to it. 

“It’s mainly my head…”

He hung his head in his hands as he said it, feeling like it was the only way he could hold it up at this point. He felt like his brain had turned into a balloon that was slowly being filled with jell-o. 

“Are you warm? Do you have a fever?”

Soonyoung was hovering now, perching on the edge of the couch and looking over his friend with concern. Jihoon just sighed. He hated being fretted over, but he was too drained to care much. And anyways, he knew what Soonyoung was thinking, because he was thinking it too. 

“I feel a little warm but not really feverish. Anyways, I don’t have a thermometer so we’re shit outta luck.”

He stood, sneezing into another tissue with a groan before turning on his heel. 

“I’m just gonna go lay down.”

There was nothing else he could do at this point but try and sleep it off, he reasoned as he made his way to the bedroom. It had come on fast so maybe it would go away just as fast, with any luck. Anyways, his brain was definitely jell-o at this point, so there wasn’t anything else he could really focus on doing.

Jihoon wasted no time kicking off his slippers and collapsing into bed, digging his face into the pillow and enjoying the cooling effect it had on his flushed skin before turning back over on his back so he could try and breathe a little better, coughing even as he did. 

Suddenly Soonyoung was over him, setting down a glass of water and the box of tissues on the nightstand before reaching over to brush the hair away from his forehead with a frown. 

“Just try to sleep it off, Jihoonie. I’ll go cook us some dinner and maybe by the time I come wake you up, you’ll feel a little better.”

Jihoon closed his eyes, and a little smile played across his lips as he felt Soonyoung press his hand against his forehead, trying to check if he was warm. 

“Your hands are always so clammy…”

“Sorry…”

Soonyoung muttered, but it wasn’t meant as a dig: Jihoon was memorizing this moment, every little detail of it, from clammy hands to plump pink lips pouting in a frown over him, because he imagined this was what it might be like to be  _ cared for _ by Soonyoung, to be loved by him - not just pitied, not just helped because he happen to be there - and he wanted to remember the feeling; he might not get another opportunity like it. Especially since he had to say it. 

“Soonyoung…”

Jihoon blinked his eyes open to peer at the man, who was already two steps towards the door but turned back to face him. 

“If I  _ am _ sick…”

Not just any old sick, but  _ that _ sick, was the unspoken distinction, 

“Maybe you should go.”

Jesus, was this really the point his life had gotten to? He felt like he was in an over-dramatized historical movie but no, this was really happening, he really was considering the reality that he had this sickness that had the world in a state of global pandemic right now and might need to urge his loved ones to stay away from him in order to preserve their own health, even at his own expense. 

  
Thankfully - and it was a real miracle - Soonyoung wasn’t feeling nearly as dramatic. 

“Are you kidding? Just sleep, Jihoonie. I’m not going anywhere.”

And with that he clicked off the light and stepped out of the room. 

Jihoon was swimming in a pool of jell-o brain thoughts, reaching over to grab a tissue and empty his nose into it before curling up on his side beneath the blankets. Which reality was more believable to him at this point, the historical drama or a reality where Soonyoung wasn’t going anywhere? He fell asleep before he could come up with an answer for himself. 

~~~~~~~~~

When Soonyoung returned to Jihoon’s bedside a while later to wake him up, he was bewildered and deeply concerned that his friend immediately began giggling as he blinked his eyes open. 

“What’s so funny?”

He asked, because he wasn’t sure if Jihoon could even answer the more pressing questions on his mind at the moment, like  _ are you okay _ and  _ have you lost your mind _ . 

“Soonyoung…”

Jihoon cracked up laughing again, reaching up to rub at his sleepy eyes and drag a hand through his messy hair. 

“I just had a thought.”

“Uh huh?”

His friend nodded slowly, thinking this might at least be a good sign that his nap hadn’t somehow made him braindead. Jihoon propped himself up on his elbows to meet his friend’s eyes. 

“It’s spring. I went outside today.”

He giggled sheepishly, watching the realization beginning to dawn on his friend’s features. 

“I think I just have allergies.”

“Oh my god!”

Soonyoung smacked him, more hard than playfully, and Jihoon made a pained noise before collapsing into giggles again, flopping back against the pillows. 

Maybe it was Soonyoung’s own fault for forgetting: there was almost nothing he could do to drag his friend outside in the first few weeks of spring when the pollen was bad, back in the day. 

“I have allergy meds in the bathroom, can you bring me some…?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Soonyoung stood and headed for the bathroom, trying to maintain his grumpiness with his friend for giving him a heart attack but cracking up at the absurdity of it instead. 

By the time he was done eating dinner with Soonyoung the medication had kicked in and Jihoon was essentially cured, the only indication that he had been on the brink of death earlier being his slightly raspy voice. Considering the dramatics he’d put himself and his friend through, Jihoon took it without complaint. This was why he hated going outside! 

Still, he thought as he lay awake later that night listening to Soonyoung snore beside him, he’d always have the memory of the weight of that clammy hand on his forehead as a souvenir. He fell asleep wondering to himself if that's what Soonyoung’s love might feel like. He didn’t think he’d ever know for sure. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really trying to check all the boxes of coronavirus quarantine life so zoom class, FaceTiming, and sickness scare are done, maybe we'll see getting really invested in hobbies and getting drunk in the apartment next haha should they bake some bread?? 
> 
> anyways don't forget to kudos and comment if you're enjoying :) and please stay safe everyone!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shoutout to user rainicoles who straight up gave me inspo for like this whole chapter in a comment haha I was hoping to show some more chill soonhoon interactions among all the Jearning (Jihoon Yearning) so this is that! thank you all for the kind words and kudos and comments so far, as you can see I really value them :) 
> 
> pls be warned there's lots of alcohol/drinking in this chap, and also a brief mention of weight loss issues, so be careful and stay safe!

**Day Ten**

  
  


Jihoon sighed in defeat and brought his hands up to dig his fists into his eyes, rubbing until the stars began to dance behind his eyelids.

This song was beating him. It was beating the shit out of him, actually, and had been for well over an hour now. 

He adjusted the headphones over his ears and dropped his hands again, frowning down at the white plastic keys of his keyboard, studying them as if they might be able to tell him what he was doing wrong. The notes and sheet music scattered around him on the rug certainly weren’t going to, so he was running out of options at this point. 

He noticed the light above him shift and lifted his gaze to see the TV had turned on, and Soonyoung had appeared, leaning down to wave at him. Jihoon pulled off his headphones. 

“Would it bother you if I watch TV?”

Jihoon waved a hand with a shrug. 

“Go ahead.”

Soonyoung nodded, then flashed a determined grin. 

“Jihoonie, fighting!”

The musician rolled his eyes at that, thinking it must have been written all over his face how bad this was going. Soonyoung stepped past him to settle into the couch that his friend was currently using as a back rest, and Jihoon returned the headphones to his ears and his fingers to the keys. 

At first he would just glance up for a few seconds in between taking notes; then he would alternate between taking the song from the top and then leaning back with a sigh to watch a few minutes of TV before starting over again. But eventually no progress was being made and he hadn’t realized how long he’d been staring at this point, absorbed in the program he couldn’t even hear. Finally Jihoon gave in and pulled the headphones off, leaning back against the couch as he settled in to watch. 

It was some kind of animal documentary. There didn’t seem to be much premise to it: a soft-voiced narrator was taking them step by step through the jungle, zooming in on and explaining each and every animal as they were encountered, the program made up of all long, sweeping shots and slow motion and wide landscapes. Something about it was deeply mesmerizing, Jihoon thought before his head emptied completely. 

At some point he rested his head back against Soonyoung’s knee where he was curled up on the couch. He didn’t even notice when the man reached down to begin gently stroking his hair until the rhythm of it started to make his eyes droop, and credits started rolling across the screen. 

“Man, makes you miss outside, right? I wish there had been a tiger, though.”

Soonyoung laughed, snapping Jihoon out of his trance enough to sit up, shaking his head slightly as if to clear it. 

“I never watch that stuff, I usually find it boring. But this was weirdly calming, I guess.”

The absence of stimulus had been a comfort, not boring. Jihoon leaned over to write that down among his notes. Maybe he was on to something, there. 

Soonyoung laughed again, leaning over to try and read some of his friend’s notes, snatching up one of the papers. 

“So, did you figure it out, in the end? Can I hear it?”

Jihoon shook his head, standing to grab the paper out of his friend’s hands and leaning down to scoop up the rest, cleaning up his work space. 

“I lost this round for sure.”

“Better luck next time.” 

Soonyoung shrugged as he returned the keyboard to its place on the stand in the corner for his friend, then followed him into the kitchen. 

They made noodles for dinner that night, which was the majority of what they were eating at this point. It had nothing to do with the fact that they were low on groceries - they both were just lazy and not great at cooking - but they were due for another run to the store soon, anyways. 

“Want a refill?”

Jihoon stood as he asked, already grabbing his friend’s empty bowl and carrying it along with his own over to the steaming pot on the stove. If his back hadn’t been to Soonyoung, he might have spotted his faltered look before he sighed. 

“Nah, I shouldn’t eat so much…”

Jihoon lifted an eyebrow over his shoulder at his friend as he scooped noodles into their bowls. 

“Oh, shouldn’t you?”

It was pretty rich to be coming from that guy. But he saw something in the way Soonyoung shrugged vaguely in response that made him turn to face him more fully. 

“Says who?”

Soonyoung peeked at his friend sheepishly, trying to outwait his attention so he wouldn’t have to answer the question, but Jihoon didn’t give it up, kicking at his friend’s chair to egg him on. Finally Soonyoung sighed, defeated. 

“My manager. She’s convinced I’ll get fat now that I’m not dancing every day…”

“Seriously?”

Jihoon scoffed, but he could tell from the way Soonyoung was pouting that he was. He scoffed again as he made his way back over to the table. 

“Well then fuck your manager.”

He plopped Soonyoung’s full bowl down in front of him, then sat down to begin stuffing his face with his own. 

“Ji…”

“Seriously, fuck her Soonie, I mean you knew that’s what I’d say, right?”

He spoke with a mouthful of food, pausing shoveling noodles into his mouth only to jab his chopsticks menacingly at his friend, then his untouched bowl. 

“Eat your food and don’t listen to that bullshit.”

Soonyoung couldn’t help but giggle at the sight of his extremely heated friend as he pounded noodles, picking up his own chopsticks and peering down into his bowl. 

“I guess if you say so…”

He responded sheepishly, not about to try and argue with that level of menace, and Jihoon gave a grunt of approval when his friend started eating again. 

No way was he going to let any of that bullshit into his house, or Soonyoung’s head for that matter. It had been a hard battle won to get it out in the first place, and it made his blood boil to think a professional who’s entire job was to take care of her client could be so careless. He had no respect for anyone that could look at Soonyoung and think there was room for improvement, honestly. 

They both leaned back in their chairs with heavy sighs when they were done, rubbing their stomachs with satisfaction. Jihoon let his eyes slip closed, sitting perfectly still in his food coma until he heard Soonyoung finally stir. 

“I have an idea.”

He cracked an eye open to peer at his friend. 

“Uh-oh.”

Soonyoung laughed before leaning forward in his chair, the glitter of his eyes a dead giveaway that yes, he definitely had an idea. 

“Let’s get drunk.”

Jihoon huffed out a laugh, rubbing his full stomach again, but he didn’t even have to say anything before Soonyoung started trying to convince him anyways. 

“Look, I think we earned it. Did you even notice today marks  _ day ten _ of quarantine? And they just announced that it’s been extended to a month! A  _ month,  _ Jihoonie! I could use a drink.”

It was true: the university had emailed him about it before he’d even seen it on the news. It was going to be a month of sitting in this apartment, a month of remote classes, a month of Soonyoung. His mother had called him in tears when she heard the announcement, begging him to come stay outside the city with her and his father where she deemed it safer, before he was able to talk her down. It seemed like the entire world was on edge at this point, like this finally wasn’t fun anymore. Yeah, maybe he  _ could  _ use a drink. 

“Well I appreciate the sentiment, Soonyoung, but I don’t have anything to drink.”

His friend pouted, getting up to poke through the cupboards and fridge to verify the claim, then pouting even more. Suddenly though he reinflated. 

“What about  _ that? _ ”

Jihoon followed the direction of his finger with his gaze to a dark bottle on one of the shelves in the living room. 

“Huh?”

He got up from the table to cross over and pick up the bottle, looking it over with an unconvinced expression. 

“I forgot I even had this…”

He mumbled, and Soonyoung appeared at his side, leaning in curiously to try and read the label. 

“What is it, anyways?”

“Bourbon.”

They both crinkled their noses at that, and Jihoon pursed his lips. 

“It was a gift from the university faculty, I think it’s kind of expensive…”

He had placed it on the shelf when he’d gotten home from the party and it had sat there ever since, considering he had no idea what he was supposed to do with a bottle of bourbon of all things.

“Perfect. Let’s drink it.”

Jihoon frowned over at his friend. 

“You want to drink  _ this? _ But…”

“What, are you saving it? Gifts are meant to be enjoyed, not sit on a shelf collecting dust! Now’s the perfect occasion, Jihoonie!”

The musician frowned back down at the bottle. Yes, he did feel a weird urge to save it for a ‘special occasion,’ whatever that might be, and he didn’t like that Soonyoung was in his head like that. 

“Fine, fuck it.”

He finally shrugged and Soonyoung cheered.

A few minutes later they were both kneeled at the coffee table, shot glasses slamming down on the wood as they both choked and sputtered. 

“Holy  _ shit-” _

Soonyoung wheezed before slapping a hand over his mouth, physically trying to hold the vile liquid down. 

“It’s like-”

Jihoon couldn’t finish before breaking into another fit of coughing. Finally he composed himself enough to rasp out, 

“It’s like nail polish remover.”

“I think I’d prefer that.”

Soonyoung groaned back before shuddering. Jihoon took a deep breath, stumbling to his feet. 

“Okay, we’re gonna need a mixer.”

He went to the kitchen and returned with a bottle of soda, ignoring the little snob on his shoulder that was crying over mixing a high quality liquour with coca cola because fuck that guy, and anyone who could stomach this bullshit. 

He took a few gulps, relieved at how it cooled his seared throat, then carefully funneled the bourbon into the soda bottle until it was full again. He poured some in each of their shot glasses before joining Soonyoung on the floor again, who was eyeing his drink somewhat reluctantly. 

“I think we should play a drinking game, too, it’ll help us get through this shit faster…”

Jihoon nodded, pursing his lips together. 

“What did you have in mind?”

He hadn’t done this shit in ages. Basically since college. But thankfully, Soonyoung perked up; of course he had an idea. 

“Okay, howabout truth or drink?”

At the questioningly raised eyebrow he received, he continued, 

“Well it’s kinda like truth or dare but better, ‘cause no one ever wants to pick dare anyways so it’s no fun. Basically you go back and forth asking questions, and if they answer, the questioner drinks. If they refuse to answer, then the person who was asked has to drink.”

“Humph, sounds dangerous.”

Jihoon eyed Soonyoung suspiciously, but he only grinned wickedly in response. 

“Isn’t that kinda the point?”

The shorter man peered down into the brown liquid of his glass, wondering which was going to be more torture, this game or the bourbon. He sighed. 

“Okay, fine. Go ahead.”

His friend laughed, tickled that he was getting his way, then tapped a finger on his chin. 

“Hmm, let me think of something good… oh, I got one.”

He pointed the finger at Jihoon and asked breezily, 

“Best sex you ever had?”

Jihoon took one look at him and downed his glass, Soonyoung throwing his head back and laughing as his friend’s face screwed up in disgust. 

_ “Seriously, _ Soonyoung?”

“What~! It’s a party game, you gotta ask party questions!”

He kept laughing even as Jihoon leapt over to wrestle him, batting the man’s hands away as he gasped for air. 

“Okay,  _ your turn _ …”

Jihoon finally growled, returning to his seat at the table to eye Soonyoung menacingly, though it did nothing to wipe the grin off his friend’s face. 

Jihoon wanted to get him back, rocketing the tough question at him right away: 

“Most embarrassing moment?”

“Jizzed my pants in class.”

Came the instant response, Soonyoung’s face deadpan. Jihoon was stunned before choking out a chuckle, giving his friend an incredulous look. 

“Yeah, it was middle school. God, what a fucked up time that was.”

Soonyoung sighed, shaking his head before breaking out laughing, too. 

“I fell asleep and had a wet dream, right there in class. I begged my mom to let me transfer schools after that one…”

He lifted his gaze to smirk right at Jihoon, leaning over to fill his glass. 

“Anyways, let me just get that for you...”

Jihoon groaned, hanging his head in defeat before once again downing his drink and squeezing his eyes shut in distaste. 

“Do you prefer topping or bottoming?”

He blinked his eyes open to shoot the man a look, but Soonyoung just giggled and shrugged innocently as if the game was entirely out of his hands. Jihoon really considered it, frowning to himself as he mulled it over, before finally reaching out to pour up again. 

“Aww, come on, Jihoonie! I wanna drink too, you know!”

“Shut up.”

He mumbled into his glass before drinking it down, Soonyoung clapping his hands together as he laughed. 

Jihoon didn’t know the answer himself, honestly.  _ Especially  _ when it came to Soonyoung.

He filled his glass again and cleared his throat, head already buzzing from the quick intake. 

“Okay.”

He flashed his eyes up to peer across at Soonyoung. 

“Do you hate your manager?”

It wasn’t something he would have asked if his mental guardrails hadn’t been dismantled by the three shots, and an unreadable expression flashed across his friend’s face before he glanced away with a sheepish smile. 

“Uh…”

He chuckled to himself, then leaned over to grab his glass off the table and toss it back. Jihoon instantly felt bad, but Soonyoung stretched out a leg to kick at him under the table as if to reassure him that they were still playing. 

“Finally I’m catching up! Okay, I’ll give you an easy one.”

Jihoon eyed the way his friend’s cheeks glowed as he smiled across the table at him, his dark eyes twinkling from the good time he was having, like Jihoon had given him the best gift in the world by simply letting him have his way. 

“When you look at me…”

Soonyoung leaned in closer and Jihoon blinked out of his trance, refocusing on his friend as he grinned, 

“What’s the first word that comes to mind?”

“Pretty.”

Came the easy answer, Jihoon nodding once for emphasis. Soonyoung blinked his eyes almost as if he hadn’t heard right.

“Huh??”

Jihoon laughed. 

“That’s two questions.”

“Jihoonieeee!”

Soonyoung tried to leap at his friend for a hug but Jihoon deflected him, the pair dissolving into a wrestling match that left them both giggling though the smaller had tried to keep a straight face. 

“No stalling - drink up!”

Jihoon ordered, breaking away to fill up his friend’s glass. Soonyoung sat up and just looked at him for a long moment, ears red as he grinned at him, before obediently taking the shot. 

They were finally buzzed enough to get into the meat of the game after that, giggling through stupid ‘party questions’ like if they’d ever been in a threesome and who was their secret celebrity crush until both the soda bottle and bourbon bottle were more than half empty. 

It was getting harder and harder for Jihoon to keep his eyes off Soonyoung, the way his nose crinkled when he laughed, the way he tucked his chin against his chest when he was embarrassed, the way his eyes shined when they were looking back at him. And they were shining now. 

“You’re glowing…”

Soonyoung giggled as he reached out a finger to poke Jihoon’s cheek before the man batted it away with a pout. It only made Soonyoung giggle more, leaning over to nudge his friend’s side with his elbow. 

“Didja miss me, Jihoonie?”

That wasn’t exactly a party question, and Jihoon blinked his eyes several times, glancing away, a tiny voice in his head that maybe sounded like Jeonghan urging him not to make a drunk fool of himself. Not that he ever listened. 

“Of course I did.”

Soonyoung’s question had been light, but Jihoon’s answer had not, and the moment of silence that lapsed between them rang uncomfortably in his ears. 

“Heh, I knew you were gonna say that…”

Soonyoung shrugged and smiled to himself, pushing his glass around absently in the puddle of condensation it was forming on the coffee table.

“It’s just kinda funny ‘cause I’m not the one who went away…”

Jihoon shot the man a sharp look before quickly glancing away again. The fire that suddenly flared in his stomach had nothing to do with the bourbon. 

_ I disagree.  _

Was what he wanted to say, but miraculously, he held his tongue. He knew he was way too drunk to do this right now, he didn’t need an inner Jeonghan to tell him that. 

Soonyoung sighed, sounding disappointed he hadn’t gotten a response, leaning his head in his hand on the table. 

“What happened to us, Ji…”

“That’s two questions.”

Jihoon responded firmly, and Soonyoung blinked before offering a smile, lips twitching like he either wanted to laugh or say something more, but all he responded with was, 

“Sorry.”

He tossed back his drink and shook his head with a frown at the taste. Jihoon couldn’t help but chuckle at the expression. 

“You’re drunk…”

Jihoon dragged a hand through his own hair, and Soonyoung cracked a lazy smile. 

“Is that your question? ‘Cause yeah, I am. You are, too.”

Jihoon gave a half-hearted fist pump in the air. 

“Mission accomplished.”

Soonyoung giggled then sighed, leaning his head in his hand again as he peered across the table at his friend. 

“Thanks for this, Jihoonie.”

The shorter man scoffed from where he was leaning back against the couch. 

“For what, getting you drunk? You won’t be thanking me later...”

They chuckled together, minds drifting to what their morning was going to feel like, before Soonyoung sighed dreamily again. 

“But for real, thanks for doing this with me, Ji. For  _ everything _ actually, I mean, thanks for letting me stay with you…”

He perked up a little, leaning closer, trying to show his sincerity, but Jihoon just waved a hand at him. 

“Now don’t start that, don’t start crying on me or something…”

He offered his friend a more sincere smile. 

“It’s been fun having you around, Soonyoung.”

Confusing, conflicting, emotionally compromising, and sometimes frustrating, sure, but definitely also fun. 

Soonyong’s eyes were shining again, and Jihoon had to look away from that gaze before it completely sucked him in, dragging another hand through his slightly sweaty hair. 

“Anyways, it’s your turn…”

“Heh, okay.”

Soonyoung glanced away, too, giggling a little to himself before peeking back over at his friend. 

“So… Are we gonna make out?”

Jihoon blinked over at him, and a bolt of electricity shot between their eyes. He gulped, shifting a little. 

“You know we shouldn’t, we’re so drunk…”

The second he saw that pout, though, Jihoon’s body was moving of its own accord, already crawling clumsily forward. 

“Okay, maybe just a little.”

He mumbled against Soonyoung’s lips as he unsteadily fell into his arms, the pair collapsing together on the rug in a dizzy pile of limbs and sloppy kisses. 

It wouldn’t be until hours later that Jihoon would wake up there on the living room floor with a groan, his neck throbbing with the worst crick of his entire life and Soonyoung snoring away beside him, the pair both shivering slightly from the cold night air and lack of blankets.  _ They were getting too old for this shit.  _


End file.
